I’ve been watching one shot videos for like, years.  So much so that I have “Top 5” lists of music video types in different categories.  Before making this video, I found a “one shot music video” list on Wikipedia and watched every single one of them.  

I’ve studied hard enough that I know what it takes to make a good one…in theory.

And so this is my chance.  This is my moment to be able to do it.  Because who is going to allow me to do it 100% my way again?  Hopefully I can make a career out of doing this.  But for now, I have to keep doing it in between jobs.  And this means tomorrow, I have to give it everything I’ve got and keep pushing until it’s perfect, stunning, fun, and something that’s going to grab the world’s attention.

I think writing this post really helps.  It turns the heat on.  Because I’m not allowed to let this weekend pass me by.  Nerves are good, if not only because nerves make you work harder.

And even if what I’m dealing with is not a problem, and it’s the most exciting, fun and liberating adventure I get to have,  there’s a lot at stake.  We’ve spent money.  We’ve spent our time.  We’ve promised all these people who are working on it for free or very little that it will ultimately be an amazing product.  Char’s album release basically depends on it.  And although I’ll never give up and I’ll keep going no matter what happens.  I’m finally starting to feel just as nervous as I was about “Human.”

It’s my job to keep those promises.

I don’t want to make a video that’s “good.”  Good isn’t good enough.  Good doesn’t get you noticed.  Good won’t eventually lead to me doing what I love every day.  I want it to be amazing.  I want it to be, “I CAN’T BELIEVE THEY DID THIS.”

That’s what I strive for with every project.  That’s why it was time to do a one shot.  We need people to pay attention to us so we can keep living our dreams.

God, please help me be able to do this.  I know that what I’m asking for out of life isn’t necessarily fair.  I’m happy.  I have friends.  I live in an amazing city.  I have food to eat everyday, a place to sleep, wonderful parents, and skills that I can make money off of.

So how selfish can it be that it’s all not enough?  It’s such a strange passion to have, but making music videos (especially for my sister) makes me feel like I’m doing what I was born to do.

I’m paying my dues.  I’m by no means unrealistic about the path to get there, but the truth is, what I get to do tomorrow is what I dream of doing every day.

I keep thinking to myself:

Please help me push myself tomorrow.  Please keep my head in the game, and let me make this project the best thing I’ve ever done…so far.

Wish me luck!  I’ll do my best to do you proud!

-Liann